Ryan's Funeral

Wednesday night we had Ryan's viewing, and Thursday was his funeral.  Everything went well.  Thursday was a beautiful day.  My mom, Eric, and Joe all spoke at the funeral, but I didn't.  Eric was giving me a hard time about it, but I don't feel bad.  I pretty much organized the whole thing (with loads of help from Connor).  I did my part.

Ryan was buried at East Lawn right beside my dad.  It's actually my mom's plot but they dug it double deep so when my mom dies (in, hopefully, a very long time) she will go in the same plot that Ryan's in.

Here are some photos of the cemetery.

Ryan's casket with Cameron by it.
Eric personalized the casket with words about Ryan all around the base written in Sharpie.  It was very cool

My friends Ami and Ashley brought us some Mountain Dew (Ryan's favorite soda) so that we could do a toast to him by the grave.  It was such a great idea and I'm sure Ryan loved it.

After it was all over we had a really nice luncheon provided to us by the Riverside Ward, which was our ward in Provo.  They were all so sweet to do that for us.  Then we headed back to Eric and Kari's to hang out that night.  

Friday I was exhausted.  I woke up at 9:30 am and then about 10 am I crashed again and slept for another 2 hours.  This last week has been exhausting.  But I'm grateful that everything went well, and that Connor was there to help every step of the way.

A Theory

We have a theory about why Ryan was driving at 5:30 in the morning on Friday the 16th.

We found out that the night before, Ryan had been over at his friend, Michelle's, apartment.  Apparently it was the 2 of them hanging out with Michelle's roommate and boyfriend.  They stayed up late talking and laughing, and Ryan fell asleep on the couch.  Eric talked to Michelle and she told him that she woke up a couple of times and Ryan was still there, but then she woke up again and he was gone, which she thought  was really strange.  She asked if Ryan had a history of sleepwalking, which he did.  She also said it was really strange that Ryan took the E-470 home because apparently that route doesn't make a whole lot of sense when driving from her apartment to his.

So we think Ryan was sleepwalking and started to drive himself home.  Another contributing factor to the theory is that we haven't been able to find shoes.  In the bag that the funeral home gave us there are socks, but there weren't any shoes.  Eric asked Michelle if she had seen any shoes that Ryan may have left at her apartment and she said that she wasn't sure and she would check.  I'm not sure if she's found them yet.

It's definitely a possibility.

Since Friday

Friday was a really difficult day.  My friend Laura came over around 2:30, and another friend Jenni came over around 6:30.  It was so sweet of them to come and keep me company.  Friday was full of phone calls and planning.  Connor was on the phone almost all day long.  He got in contact with a funeral director in Colorado, Alice Wheeler.  She helped us find out which Coroner's Office Ryan was at, and they got him moved to their facility that day.  We heard that the Coroner's Office in Colorado doesn't do much on the weekends, and we really didn't want Ryan to sit in a cold Coroner's Office all weekend long.

I was on the phone a lot of the day with members of our old ward in Provo, which is where we will be having the funeral.  My mom decided that she wanted to have the service at the same place that we had my dads back in 1998, and Ryan will be buried in East Lawn Cemetery next to my dad.

I was also able to coordinate things with JetBlue and my work schedule.  Can I just say how much I love my job and the company that I work for?  My supervisor was so helpful and caring and really went above and beyond to help me get work covered for this ordeal.  Also, JetBlue flew my mother out to Utah completely free of charge.  And we're not talking standby.  It was a confirmed seat and all.  I love JetBlue.

Saturday I made Connor stay home from work.  I didn't want to be alone.  We went to the temple together in the afternoon.  Around 5:30 we picked my mom up from the airport and drove up to Eric and Kari's house.  We spent the evening with them and we had a good time being with family, and also did some funeral planning as well.

Sunday we drove to Colorado.  We left around 10:30 or 11 and got in around 6:30.  It really wasn't such a bad drive.  We checked into our hotel and then we got some dinner from Carrabbas, where Eric thinks he spotted 2 Denver Broncos Players.  Later we watched a really strange movie on HBO Family called Cirque du Freak: The Vampires Assistant.  Seriously, one of the weirdest/dumbest movies that I've ever seen.  And it's loaded with famous people.  How does that happen?

Monday was really hard.  We were hoping to go first to Ryan's apartment, pack up his stuff, and then go to the funeral home to see him and head home.  In order for us to leave the state of Colorado with Ryan's body, we had to have a permit, and Alice, the funeral director, told us that it should be there by noon.  Well, things turned out a little bit differently.  We weren't able to get into Ryan's apartment until around noon, which was also when we were also going to meet Betzy, the very nice state trooper that was in contact with Eric regarding Ryan's accident.  She had Ryan's cell phone.

We decided to go over to the funeral home around 10:30 am just to see Ryan.  They took Connor in first, and then Eric and I went in.  Seeing Ryan was really hard.  No matter how well someone is embalmed, people just look so different when they're dead.  We left the funeral home and made it to Ryan's apartment a little after noon and we cleaned up his stuff.  That was really hard for me.  For some reason, even harder than seeing his body.  I think because I expected that seeing his body to be difficult, so I had prepared myself for that.  I wasn't prepared for cleaning out all of Ryan's stuff that he would never be back for.

After that we met with Betzy and she gave us Ryan's cell phone.  Then she took us to see his truck, and to see the site of the accident.  Connor took pictures of both but I don't know if I should post them.  They're not too bad, but I just haven't decided yet.  The truck was completely totaled.  Ryan was ejected out of the driver's side window (no seatbelt) and hit his head really badly on the way out.  At the site of the accident we saw where he landed.  Apparently they can put a wreath up for free at the accident scene in memory of Ryan.  We thought that was a really nice idea.  Hopefully we will be able to do that soon.

The funeral home finally had the permit ready for us at around 2:30.  Apparently they had just received the fax right before we arrived back at the mortuary.  So we loaded Ryan's body up, went to Subway to grab some lunch, and started the drive back to Utah.

Tuesday I went to the temple with my mom and her friend.  Afterwards they came to the funeral home and my mom saw Ryan and picked out some final things for the funeral.  They went back home and not too long after Connor and I headed to Eric and Kari's house for dinner.  Joe and Crystal and their kids arrived tonight so it was so fun to see them.

It's wonderful to be together as a family.  I just wish Ryan could be here too.

Ryan's Obituary

Ryan Nelson

We are heartbroken.

Ryan is gone from this life.

His thirty years here were brimming with adventure as he was never afraid to try new things.  He lived large on both coasts and many places in between.  His two favorite escapes were the ocean and the sky—he was happiest surfing and skydiving.

Ryan enjoyed skiing, golf, football and basketball.  He liked to have fun.  He was also a hard worker who strived to do his best on any job he took.  He liked movies and acted in a few.  Look for him next summer in “John Carter.”

Ryan had the heart of a lion and the soul of a poet.  He loved to play with his nieces and nephews—to them he was truly “Uncle Awesome.”  He would do anything to help a member of his family, and often did.

We love him.  We miss him.  He leaves behind a family that is grateful to have shared life with him.

Funeral services will be held Thursday, September 22, 2011 at 11:00 am,  at the Edgemont Stake Center, 303 West 3700 North, on Thursday, September 22, 2011 at 11:00 am. A Memorial Gathering will be Wednesday, September 21, 2011 from 6:00-8:00 pm at the Park LDS Ward, 275 West Park Street (South of Layton Elementary School), Layton, Utah. There will not be a public visitation on Thursday morning in Provo. Interment: East Lawn Memorial Hills Cemetery, 4800 North 650 East, Provo, Utah, where Ryan will be laid to rest next to his father. Ryan’s arrangements are in the care of Memorial Mortuary, Murray, Utah (801) 262-4631.

(Written by Eric)

Ryan

I never know how to do these things.  They never get easier.

This morning my brother Ryan passed away.  He was in a car accident.  He fell asleep while driving, overcorrected, rolled his truck, and was ejected from the vehicle.  You can read a short article here.

Ryan will be greatly missed.  He was a great brother, and still is.  His fun loving personality will be missed.  We are grateful that we were able to spend some time with him in California.

Ryan and my dad must have had a wonderful reunion.

This is us at Disneyland in 1994 (I think).  Ryan is 2nd from the front and I'm 2nd to the back.

My wedding day.
From the Left it's Joe, Ryan, Me and Eric

Dancing with Ryan at my wedding.

On our way to San Francisco.

We love you Ryan, and we will miss you.

A Trip to the Dentist*

Today was a busy day.  This morning Connor and I went to the credit union to get pre-approved for a mortgage.  Yay!  There's light at the end of the tunnel.  As much as I love living above a mortuary (it really isn't so bad but no dishwasher and no AC is getting old), it's time for this beautiful newlywed experience to come to an end.  Who knows how long it will actually take us to find a home and all that stuff that's involved, but at least it's one step closer.

Then we went to the dentist in Provo to get my cavity filled.  Here's a lovely photo that Connor took of me.

 I love that Nitrus Oxide that they give you.  It's goooood stuff.  :)  And I got to watch Grey's Anatomy/Project Runway, so it wasn't so bad.

Afterwards we went to Coney's (thanks Annie for the recommendation!).  It was soo soo soo good.  I got the Chicago Dog and it was delish.  Connor actually went back and bought a 2nd one because he thought his was so good.  And their custard is really good too.  The only thing that could have made it more enjoyable is if my mouth wasn't partially numb.

This is Connor working on his 2nd Hot Dog.

After Provo we headed to IKEA.  I wanted to get some new plastic cups for our apartment.  One thing that I've learned about not having a dish washer is that it's easy to drop slippery things, and glasses tend to break when they're dropped.  So, sadly, we are down to very few glasses.  Anyway, we couldn't find a single plastic cup at IKEA.  What's up with that?  Maybe we just were looking in the wrong place, but we walked through the entire down stairs portion of the store and didn't find one.  We ended up buying some surge protectors, so it wasn't a wasted trip.

Then we went over to Boondocks for a UFDA convention.  This is the 2nd year in a row that we've gone and it's really fun.  We played a bunch of arcade games, go karts, miniature golf, and had dinner.  Funny story about the go karts, on our 2nd round Connor rammed into me and I ran into the side.  Since there's no reverse on the go karts one of the guys had to run over and push my cart back.  But while he was doing it a whole bunch of people came around the corner and one of them rammed into me.  It was actually pretty funny.  Anyway, Connor was just mad because the first time I beat him.  :)

After that we cashed in our arcade tickets for some Air Heads and headed home.  Fun night!

*(Does anyone remember how from S1 of Veronica Mars that one rude girl spits in other peoples drinks and calls it "A trip to the dentist"?)

My Nook Book

Can I just say how much I LOVE my Nook?  It's my favorite.  I love that I can read lying down and on my back and I don't have to hold the pages open.  I love that I can hold the book and turn the page with the same hand, at the same time.  I love everything about it.

Okay, I don't love that it took me 3 hours to figure out how to get library books transferred from my computer to my Nook, but that's okay.  I figured it out, and I DO love that I CAN read library books on my Nook.

Anyway, I have read 2 books so far since I got it.  The first was The Help, which was so so so good.  I think pretty much anyone would enjoy this book.  It's a really moving story, and while it may be a bit controversial, I really enjoyed it.  It helped me understand what life was really like for Black Women, and Black people in general, in the South during the 1960s, and the myths that White People created to justify the "Separate but Equal" craziness.  (i.e. Black People have different diseases than White People, and therefore must use a different bathroom so there's no cross-contamination.)  I really enjoyed the book, and think most others would too.

Then I read Water For Elephants, which I also really enjoyed.  Water for Elephants is about an old man who is remembering his days when he worked as the veterinarian in a traveling circus.  This book is really interesting.  It has murder, love, love triangles, and pretty much everything you could want.  I was kind of hesitant about reading it, but it had so many good reviews that I bought it and I'm glad I did.  (Warning, it does have a fair amount of profanity, so if that bothers you then don't read it.)  I haven't seen the movie that came out this year, but now that I finished the book I'd really like to.

Alcatraz

I have always wanted to go to Alcatraz.  I have kind of a weird obsession with prisons, especially old ones.  So when Connor and I decided to go to California for the baby blessing, I really wanted to go to Alcatraz.  We bought our tickets about a month in advance because we heard they can sell out fast.

Alcatraz was really interesting.  It's really a fascinating place, and it's interesting to see how the prison functioned, and also hear about the prison riots, and escapes.  It's also interesting to know that people lived there and grew up there.  Not prisoners, but families lived there.  Also, there is an interesting Native American history there, which is worth checking out.

Our boat out to the island.

One of the Guard Watchtowers.

Not my ideal location for a shower. 

I told him originally that he looked too happy to be in prison so this is the face he made.  :)

Solitary confinement in D Block.

I'm definitely too happy for solitary confinement.

I think this is the cell of Frank Morris, who escaped with John Anglin and  Clarence Anglin.

These are the pipes that they climbed up to get to the ceiling for their escape.

The kitchen.  They had to outline all of the knives in the cabinet so that they could know if any went missing.

We ended up staying out there for about 2 hours, and then drove the 2 hours back.  We got to Joe and Crystal's pretty late, but we stayed up and watched Escape From Alcatraz together.  Good movie.  And it was interesting to see the places that Connor and I had just visited.  

San Francisco

On Labor Day we headed into San Francisco with Joe, Crystal, their kids, and Ryan.  We had a lot of fun sightseeing.  Connor had never been there before, and the traffic was fairly bad due to the holiday so we didn't have a ton of time, but we saw some of the important stuff.

Pier 39

Vista Point by the Golden Gate Bridge

Addison slept almost the entire time.

Lombard St

We wanted to do more, but we just didn't have enough time.  Connor and I had tickets for Alcatraz so we had a bit of a time crunch.  But it was still fun to drive around and see everything.  We will have to go back some day and spend more time there.

Addison Mae

On August 4th my brother Joe and his wife Crystal had a baby.  After having 3 boys, they finally had a girl, which makes her my 2nd niece.  Her name is Addison Mae and she is soooo cute.

This past Sunday Addison had her baby blessing.  Connor and I drove out to California for it, and to spend time with Joe and Crystal and their kids, and do some sight seeing.  We had a ton of fun.  

Addison in her baby blessing dress.

Cameron, with Crystal in the background.

Me and Cameron.  He is so cute and loved to cuddle with me. 

Cody is such a sweet dog.  He is a Goldendoodle and is very good natured.  Connor had a lot of fun playing with him.

I'm not sure why we didn't get more pictures of Taylor and Alex.  Connor was in charge of the camera that day so I will blame him.  :)  Actually, I think the reason was that they were busy playing upstairs, which is why we didn't get any.